Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Silly kitchen gadget No. 39

If you eat a lot of bagels, and purchase them unsliced, maybe this is a good gadget for you. It might also be good for someone who doesn't trust himself not to slice his hand open instead of his bagel. Me, I'm OK with a decent serrated knife. Yes, my sliced bagels are usually a little lopsided, but I'll live. And save $5.
I'm even less likely to shell out more than $20 for the bagel guillotine, which would take up a lot of valuable counter or drawer space for a single-use gadget. Or does it work on English muffins, too? I have no idea.

I am, of course, talking about home use here. If you deal with bagels commercially, the bagel guillotine is probably a godsend.

Whenever I do a silly gadget post, I end up learning a lot more than I expected. For example, here's a web page where you can learn all about bagel slicers.

No need to thank me. Just send H&H.


  1. It's a point of New York pride for me to slice bagels vigorously toward my wrist. Not dead yet!

  2. I could probably injure myself with *both* of those contraptions--I'm a professional.

  3. First, that spear-like gadget doesn't really make any sense to me.
    Second, having been in an ER because of a bagel incident I speak with some authority on this subject. For example, I now know that the safest way to cut a bagel is to lay it flat on a cutting board, press and hold it down with your left hand, assuming you're right-handed, and slice it sideways, parallel with the cutting board, using that nice serrated knife Kitt mentions. I've owned one of those slicing machines you show and it works but it seems sort of wimpish. (And it makes mush of an English muffin.) BTW, when I arrived at the ER that sunny summer morning with one index finger in two pieces, the ER doc laughed and said "Oh, yeah, we get several bagel cuts a week. You'll be fine." He and the nurse continued to chortle while I watched them stitch me up. Humiliating.

  4. I have the same problem with hard-cooked egg slicers. Even if they worked—all they do is smush—really? You can't be bothered to slice something into pieces that's soft and 2 inches long?

  5. Denveater,
    I LOVE my egg slicer!! I slice the slices and sprinkle the slivers onto salads. Plus it works on mushrooms and strawberries. It doesn't produce presentation-worthy slices, but it's nice if you have not-enough-to-use-the-food-processor but too-many-for-the-pairing-knife.

  6. I have had my share of bagel related injuries..
    I don't buy bread often anymore, but if I buy bagels for the kids at the grocery store - I buy the ones that are partially sliced for them.

  7. Brooklyn, you could probably do it in your sleep!

    Miss T, maybe you should stick with presliced, then. ;-)

    Pam, the spear thing is a slicer. That's a blade in the middle, and the bars on the sides help you center the bagel for even cutting. There's another bagel slicer out there invented by a doctor who's seen a lot of those injuries! I'm sure it's a running joke in ERs, much to the victims' dismay.

    Denveater, maybe you're not boiling the egg hard enough? I think I have an ancient, inherited egg slicer, but I've never used it. But HB, you're persuading me I should haul it out and see how I like it.

    Natashya, that's probably good thinking.

  8. And HB, I'm curious about your profile photo now! Are you a beekeeper? (Your profile isn't public, so I can't tell if you have a blog or not.)

  9. THese tools are such a waste of $ and space. Like Miss T, I think they may be more dangerous than useful!